Tag Archives: help

No Help, please

I have finally got a lot of my blogs, posting together, without asking for help.  I hate asking for help.  I have always been independent and like to do things on my own.  It has been very hard for me to accept help.  I always feel I have to give something in return to make the scales balance again. I do not like to owe anybody.   Please believe, I have asked for help, but it has always been after I have exhausted all other avenues at least 3 times.  More importantly, I find when I do ask, I am always disappointed. I will usually get a yes, I can help you and the help never arrives.  I listen patiently to the excuse(I forgot, “did you need it now”, etc…) look them straight in the eye and say, forget, I will do it myself.  That is usually met with(ok, well good luck).  I have learned to cut out the middle man and just do it myself.

Now before you ask, I have helped many people when they ask.  I will go beyond and above the help that they ask for.  I will also be up front and tell you when I can’t help(this usually involves money). If can’t help, I will check up on that person to see how they made out and maybe I can offer my services now.  Now to be fair, I have turned down offers of help more times than I can count, but I still want you to offer.  Sometimes I want you to insist(I know sounds funny doesn’t it).  I will probably turn you down. If you know me, you know I would only ask because I am in dire straits.  That independent streak has cause me a lot of strife, but it is my makeup.

I know it doesn’t make sense.  Then again maybe it does.  I will try to explain.  No, I don’t need any help.

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Same Day, Same Sh^*^&^%%&*^*(##$

It seems like I have been on the same road all my life.  Just meeting different people along the way.  It is time to get off the pot and move over to another road.  One where there is peace, love, joy and happiness.  This road has been traveled by me for so long, I don’t think I even know how to spot another road.   Just a thought as I sit here and clean out my email, looking about.

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NotJust Knee Deep

I am NotJustKneeDeep.  This was a popular song made by Parliament in the 70’s.  I have adopted this as my theme/battle cry.   I make up so many layers.  Wife, mother, sister, auntie, cousin, grandmother, daughter, friend.  But something is missing.  My points are down.  I am not getting the shelf space I deserve.  My approval rating has sunk to an all time low.  I know what I need to boost my rating back up.   To bring me to the home stretch. I need everyone to join in together and say, You are alright with me, then I will alright with my self.  

Even the strongest person needs to now that they are meant for something more; than for service.  We need more than a token kiss, wave goodbye or even a thank you.  We as women far short of achieving the very lofty goals we put ourselves through.  We wait and wait and wait again.    We know are worth, but do the people around us know just how worthy we are.  Yes, I get a hug and kiss, with a tossed thank you.  The hug from a child is wonderful.  It can blot out the most miserable day.   We scream with joy or saving a few cents, balancing the books, paying the bills, all the while holding a child in one hand and stirring in a pot with the other.  We stretch our bodies to rise to the occasion again and again.  Refueling only after everything has been laid to rest.  When all the wants and desires have been met;  then and only then, do we breathe a sigh of relief.   Don’t hold that breathe too long, the alarm has just gone off.   Now we are back to square one again.

How can a body sustain the rigours trials and tribulations?   Can it be that when our body is weak, rundown, tire, hurting and just plain exhausted, that we gain more insight into who we really are.  With our backs up against the wall and surround on all sides, do we give up in defeat?  Have you ever met a women who was totally down, even when she is getting beat down.

Somehow, we find the strength, courage, to go on, and fight another day. It is inbred in us.  We were made to stand to the harshness of life.  We are women.  Through and through.  

As stated earlier, I love to hear thank you or you are awesome mom,sister, daughter, auntie, cousin, wife, mother, grandmother, and friends.  Just sometimes it feels automatic.  Like when you talk to someone and they just continue to nod their heads.   

As a women I know my worth.  Why don’t you.  After all I am Not Just Knee Deep.

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