Another year, another promise

As we end the year 2011, I am once again forced to relive my high and lows and my hopes for the next year, if God is willing.   Let me start at the beginning.  I was sitting here putting in reserves for movies that will be coming out on dvd.   It hit me how sad my life is.   My only entertainment is reserving movies from the library, for which they are  free.   What a deal.  I have not visited my family in over a year due to lack of money.   The only outings I have is to the library and the local thrift shops.   Most of the time I am by myself.    The more I try to get a life going, the more things fall apart.   Feeling sorry for myself is about the only excitement I can seem to get.  It doesn’t help that I am feeling bad today and have been losing sleep for the last couple of days.  I revisited this year in my mind and it brings my mood down even more.  I feel like I have been in this spot before.  Ending the year with the hopes that a better one is on its way.   I guess that is what I get for living in the past.  

Now on to my highs.   There is too many to count.  My blessings abound.   It is kinda of contradictory from the first paragraph to this one, but that is how it goes.  Up one minute and down the next.   I am still here and still have some fight left in me.   I am still hungary for a life full of love, living, joy and happiness.    

That brings me to my third installment of the post.  My hopes for the future.   I guess I want what all people want.  Just to live their own life with conflict and drama.  So once again, I make promises I know I can’t keep, make resolutions that fall through in the first month of the new year, a never post about the lows in my life, again.  HMMMMMMMMMMMM, I feel better already.

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